Sending the Connection Request After You've Commented

Send the connection request after you have commented, once there is a specific exchange you can point to, and say where they know you from in the first few words of the note. A request that follows a real thread answers the only question the recipient asks when it arrives: do I know this person? Keep the note under 200 characters, ask for nothing, and send it within a day or two of the exchange.

A connection request after commenting is read differently from a cold one, but only if the timing or the note makes the link obvious. The rest of this post covers the limits LinkedIn sets on notes, how to decide whether a note is needed at all, and ten notes written for particular situations.

LinkedIn’s Help page on personalizing invitations says each note can be up to 200 characters. On a free account you can add a note to up to three connection requests a month. Premium members can add one to every request. Paid accounts have commonly had a longer field, around 300 characters, but that page does not give a second figure at the time of writing, so write for 200 and trust the counter in the invite box.

The same page says the recipient can reply to your note without accepting the invitation, and that invitations sent from the People You May Know list in the mobile app cannot be personalized. Send from the person’s profile.

LinkedIn does not publish a weekly cap on invitations. It is widely reported at roughly 100 a week, and the weekly invite limit guide goes through what is known. What LinkedIn does say, on its page about invitation restrictions, is that an account can be temporarily restricted when many invitations go out in a short time or when many are ignored, left pending or marked as spam. It also says that after you withdraw an invitation, you cannot invite the same person again for up to three weeks.

The request matters because messaging depends on it. LinkedIn’s messaging overview says you can message first-degree connections and fellow group members for free, and reach other members by InMail, which needs a Premium account. Its Help pages also describe message requests to group members and coworkers you are not connected to, and free messages to Premium members who have Open Profile switched on. For most leads none of those exceptions applies.

Put together, this argues for the approach in this post: fewer requests, sent to people who already recognize you.

With three notes a month on a free account, the decision matters. A blank request shows your name, photo and headline. If the person replied to your comment yesterday, that is enough, and a note adds little.

Spend a note when recognition is less certain:

There is also a way to add context without using a note. Say it in the thread before you send the request:

Why it works: the reply is public, free and seen in their notifications. When a blank request from you arrives a minute later, it already has its explanation.

Whether to connect first or engage first is a separate question, covered in should you connect before or after engaging.

Each of these is under 200 characters as written. The connection request templates page has fill-in versions. These are narrower: one situation each.

Farid, a CTO, posted about moving to a monorepo. You asked what happened to build times, and he replied with numbers.

Why it works: it names the post and the thing he gave you. The reason for connecting is interest in his project, which is believable because you asked about it first.

Leona runs clinical engineering for a hospital group and posts about equipment service contracts.

Why it works: it is plain about what has been happening. A little self-awareness reads as a person, not a campaign.

Graham, a university marketing director, argued that open days still beat virtual tours. You pushed back. He answered well.

Why it works: conceding a point is rare enough to be memorable, and it tells him you were arguing about the subject, not for attention.

Dev owns an HVAC company and wrote about losing technicians in their first year.

Why it works: he has just looked you up, so the note confirms what he found in one honest clause and stops.

Carla, CFO at a construction firm, asked in a thread how you track retainage.

Why it works: the request has a job to do, and the last clause removes the worry that accepting starts a sales sequence.

Walter is CEO of a building-supplies distributor. He posts monthly and answers no comments.

Why it works: one named post separates it from flattery. It asks for nothing he would need to delegate.

Simone has just been promoted. You have commented on her partner onboarding posts since spring.

Why it works: on promotion day she gets many requests from strangers. This one carries a date that proves it is not one of them.

You and Jonas both commented on a third person’s post and replied to each other.

Why it works: it gives the exact place you met, which he can check in ten seconds.

Why it works: they came to you, so the note only needs to acknowledge it and be generous about what they said.

You commented on Petra’s fleet posts last winter, then stopped for months.

Why it works: it does not pretend the gap did not happen, and it gives a current reason for writing now.

What is wrong: a pitch and a meeting request inside an invitation. “Your content” could be anyone’s. A month of careful comments now looks like the setup for this line.

What is wrong: it contains no fact about either person. It would be equally true sent to anyone, which is how the reader knows it was.

What is wrong: which post? If you cannot name it, the reader assumes you did not read it. A blank request would have done less harm.

What is wrong: you have a real thread to point to and chose a number instead. Mutual connections are what strangers mention when they have nothing else.

When the request is accepted, resist the urge to send something within the hour. Either say nothing and keep commenting, or send one line of thanks tied to a post. The longer first message is its own piece of writing, with examples in the first DM after commenting.

If the request sits unanswered, leave it. Plenty of people only clear their invitations every few weeks. Keep commenting as before, because a pending request plus a good comment next week is often what gets it accepted. Withdrawing and resending is not a shortcut, given the wait of up to three weeks before you can invite that person again. If months pass, following them keeps their posts in your feed without needing their approval. Connect vs follow explains the difference.

Icebreakly covers the part before the request. It monitors the leads you choose, drafts a comment in your voice when one of them posts, and tracks how many touches each lead has had. It does not send connection requests, notes, messages or follow-ups. You send the request by hand from the person’s profile, and on a free LinkedIn account you choose which three people a month get a note.

Look through the people whose posts you have commented on this month. Find the one who replied to you most recently. Reply once more in the thread if there is something to add, then send the request the same day, with a note only if one of the five conditions above applies. Write the note, count the characters, and cut any word that is about you.